You don’t need to buy God’s love.

By now you’re probably familiar with the college admissions scandal. Earlier in the week several people were charged with bribery in order to get their children into elite colleges like Yale University, and the University of Southern California and several others.

Such bribes included paying money to forge SAT and ACT scores and paying others to take them and paying coaches large sums of money in order to tell the college office that their kid was an athlete – when they weren’t.

It’s not really a surprise to me. I sort of figured this sort of thing happened all the time in Hollywood anyway.

In general, people think they can throw money at a problem and it’ll go away. People think that they can buy their way into things. Because as much as we want to admit, money factors into a lot of things. Having money is a necessity in life.

I digress.

There is one thing that you can’t buy.

God’s love. 

Ephesians 2:8-8 tells us For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.

No matter what we do.
No matter how we act.
No matter what we say.
No matter how many times we attend Sunday services.
No matter how many times we’ve volunteered and donated to charity.

We can’t earn our salvation.
We can’t buy our way into Heaven.

It is by the grace of God that we have been forgiven.
Salvation is a gift from God – freely given to us by the grace of God.

Why try to earn something when it’s already been given to you freely? 

We think we have to earn God’s love because we are flawed and we fall short of the glory of God daily.

We mess up and think that we need to earn back God’s love.

Romans 8:38-39 tells us, For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.

You don’t ever have to earn God’s love because it’s already been given to you freely. No matter how many times you’ve messed up, and no matter how many times you’re going to mess up again.

God’s love is unconditional and never changing.

You Can Keep Talking About It Or Do Something

“I want to take culinary classes”.
“I want to eat healthy”.
“I want to start saving money”.
“I want to start a business”.
“I want to travel more”.
“I want to make a change”.

We talk about our wants, desires and goals. When it comes to actually putting them into actions it’s a whole other story.

There is a clear difference in stating that you want to make something happen and actually taking the first step and making that change become a reality.

After working for almost a year at a coffee roasting company as a cook, I decided I wanted to learn more about coffee and roasting. I wanted to push myself. I wanted to do the dash my own coffee roasting business.

For months it remained just a goal in the distance. I found excuses to not start. “I’m exhausted”, or “I have too much going on”. I kept putting it off for “tomorrow”.

In order to make it a reality I would need to take a giant leap of faith into the unknown.

It’s the unknown. It’s uncharted waters.

It’s scary. It’s exciting. It’s stressful. It’s an emotional roller coaster.

Here’s the thing. You can find a million excuses to not try something or make something happen. You can spend your whole life making excuses to put that goal off until “tomorrow” or “next week”.

Or, you can take a small step in the direction of your goal.

Even the smallest step in that direction is a step toward making it become a reality.

Maybe that’s visiting local gyms and finding the right match. Maybe it’s not eating out and packing a lunch. Maybe it’s showing up to a local event in your community.

Whatever it is, take a small step toward making your goals a reality today.

Living With Dyspraxia: Life in the Kitchen

I currently work in a kitchen as a chef. Some days by the end of my shift my chef jacket looks like a work of art that Picasso might’ve created.

I absolutely love being in the kitchen and getting to create different dishes.

I also happen to have Dyspraxia, otherwise known as developmental coordination disorder, DCD. Dyspraxia is a neurological disorder which affects a persons ability to plan and process motor skills. Symptoms of Dyspraxia range anywhere from poor balance, poor posture, poor hand-eye coordination and clumsiness. Dyspraxia is often mis-diagnosed as a lot of symptoms run hand in hand with ADHD, OCD or even Aspergers.

Living with Dyspraxia can present all sorts of challenges in the day to day life. What may appear simple to someone without Dyspraxia may seem like a mountain of a task to someone who may have Dyspraxia.

When I’m in the kitchen I find it draining, and exhausting. Especially since I’m also extremely introverted. Yet, at the same time I’m great at it.

One of the struggles of having Dyspraxia is struggling with time management. I’ll often try knocking things out at once or jumping ahead. I can’t really do this as a line chef. One thing that helps me keep track of time is by setting timers. Setting timers helps me to better manage my time and I’m less likely to jump from order to order and be distracted.

There are times when it can be really stressful in the kitchen. To the point where some days I feel like I need to spend a year in yoga classes, but there are little things I can do to help me manage my Dyspraxia.

Peeling That Band-Aid Off

You fall down and scrape your knee or elbow and end up with a wound.

What do you do next?

Disinfect the wound and slap a band-aid over it to prevent anymore dirt from getting inside.

When people or situations hurt you and leave you feeling wounded, how do you respond?

How do you let go? How do you forgive those who have hurt you?

Do you just slap a band – aid over the wound and call it a day?

Or do you actually clean out the wound so that you can truly start the healing process?

In past I’ve always just sort of taken the, “slap a band – aid over it” approach. When my ex-boyfriend cheated, I forgave him and slapped a band – aid over the wound. When a friend hurt me, I forgave and slapped a band – aid over the wound.

I always knew that I needed to forgive like God forgives us.

I slapped band – aids over my wounds and never truly allowed healing to begin. Over the years these wounds would fester and eat away at me and consume me.

In order to heal wounds we need to peel that band – aid back and allow it to breathe.

It’s okay to acknowledge the hurt you were left with. Sometimes it helps to acknowledge that pain and to understand that we’re all sinners in need of grace.

Ignoring the wound that’s there doesn’t help. It’ll only grow and fester.

Whatever wounds you currently have, peel that band – aid back and allow healing to happen.

Living with My Dyspraxia: Kitchen Struggles

I currently work at a coffee roasting company as one of their cooks. It’s an interesting job and I get to make delicious food such as

However, I also have dyspraxia. Dyspraxia, otherwise known as, DCD, Developmental Coordination Disorder affects between 2-10% of the population. It is under diagnosed in the United States and can affect a persons motor skills, ability to sequence and hand-eye coordination, etc.

Living with dyspraxia can present all sorts of challenges in day to day living. What may seem like a simple task to someone without dyspraxia, may seem like a mountain of a task to someone with dyspraxia.

For instance, when cooking I get easily tired and get easily frustrated. Often because of this, it’s hard to motivate myself.

When I cook, I have this tendency to want to do everything at once. I have difficulty knowing what comes first or even how to keep things in the correct sequence.

Another thing I struggle with is grip and cutting. Even something as simple as just holding the whisk when I whisk eggs isn’t easy for me. I struggle with the hand coordination that is required to whisk eggs. Luckily one of my coworkers taught me a little hack to help me whisk the eggs.

The best advice I can give you on working in the kitchen and cooking with dyspraxia is to practice and take your time. It helps to know your weakness and to find constructive ways to deal with them.

For instance, what helps me is when I have recipes to follow exactly, and timers. Without timers, I’d forget all time. I will also scribble notes down to myself all the time to remind myself to get tasks done or if I’m out of an ingredient.

Living With My Dyspraxia: Exercise

Dyspraxia, also known as DCD, Developmental Coordination Disorder affects fine and/or gross motor coordination in children and adults. People with dyspraxia may find it extremely difficult to exercise or even to stay motivated. Many people with dyspraxia often have low muscle tone and poor hand eye coordination, which makes it hard for them to run/jump or even to play team sports.

For me, I feel like I personally have a great amount of muscle from spending an enormous amount of time in the gym and pushing myself to lift weights. When I was younger, my family and friends started nicknaming me, “Herculina”.

My downfall with exercise is that it gets exhausting and when I do run into muscles that might be weaker, I get discouraged from exercising.

Here are some exercises that I find extremely helpful and enjoyable:


As I stated before, I used to be a yoga instructor. At some point I was actually teaching two yoga classes a day, twice a week. When I wasn’t teaching I was in the gym every morning pushing myself to work on muscle tone and balance.

Yoga is helpful regarding balance and coordination. Although for me, I would struggle with the sequences and the timing of the sequences.


I find swimming very therapeutic and refreshing. Swimming is great for people with dyspraxia because it is made up of repetitive movements in a sequence, and with practice it is easy to follow.

Swimming helps with balance, flexibility, and endurance.


I enjoy running as it gives me an outlet to run off excess steam or frustrations that I may have. It also lets me get outdoors and enjoy the beauty of nature. However, most likely I’ll probably trip over while running. It happened more often when I was younger. I re-call having bruises and torn up knees from tripping and falling constantly.

I usually tend to run/jog, or to do interval running. That’s my way of trying to make sure I don’t fall as much.


When I was in high school I would longboard more often. I often liked to hang around my guy friends who were often longboarding and/or skateboarding and watch them. Although, I never seriously got into it. I don’t have as much time to longboard as much anymore so my skills are pretty bad.

I find longboarding helpful regarding learning how to balance, however that can also be the downfall. I often lean too far to the right when I actually want to go left, or left when I want to go right. I also have a habit of losing balance as I’m trying to coordinate my movement.

Longboarding may not be for everyone, so I would strongly caution this if your balance is basically non-existent. Or, if you are just starting out, try on a flat surface. Baby steps, y’all.


What If I Don’t Like Any Of Those Options?

I also like to walk and go hiking whenever possible. Find an exercise that motivates you to want to workout. It’s never fun to do an exercise that you feel, forced into or bored at. Try to pick sports that’ll improve your coordination, and muscle strength. As with anything, exercising requires determination and practice. Don’t get discouraged. If you don’t succeed, keep at it. It’s okay to start slowly and take things easy. You don’t have to be a pro at it from day one.

18 Signs You May Have Dyspraxia


It took 26 years of my life for me to realize that I had dyspraxia. Before then, I had spent 26 years of my life wandering through life being diagnosed with ADHD and an “undiagnosable” learning disability. I was extremely clumsy, often tripping up and down stairs, constantly walking into strangers, and even dropping stuff constantly.

Dyspraxia, referred to as DCD in the United States, is a neurological disorder. It primarily affects motor function(the ability to eat, speak, and move). Symptoms range from; poor balance, difficulty planning or organizing ones thoughts, to tendencies to bumping and falling into things or people. Many people with dyspraxia are prone to having low self-esteem, and depression. It is estimated that between 2-10 percent of the population has dyspraxia. Dyspraxia can also be common in people who were premature at birth, and had low birth weight.

Simply put: Not all of the messages your brain is sending to your body are getting through. 

Think of it like a post card or a package getting lost somewhere along the way. It’s happened and still happens to this day. The signals basically get muddled and lost along the way.

Dyspraxia is often under-diagnosed or misdiagnosed with ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc. Many doctors are unable to readily diagnose DCD and are not as familiar as they should be with it. Which explains to me why as a child, most of my teachers and physicians knew I had a learning disability, but could never put their finger on it.

For me, I spent 26 years of my life diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability that many could never place their hands on or name. I was constantly losing things, walking into people and struggling to pay attention in class and getting over tired from the constant amount of homework.

I was constantly in and out of learning strategies classes in school to help me learn to, “be more organized”. Teachers would often get frustrated with me and label me as an underachiever and lazy when I’d struggle to find the energy to finish a task.

Some celebrities with dyspraxia are; Florence Welch from Florence and the Machine, Albert Einstein, and Jamie Lambert and Daniel Radcliffe, who struggles with tying his shoelaces.

Here are 18 signs you may be dyspraxic:

1. You Find It Hard To Concentrate

Getting distracted, and finding it extremely hard to focus is a common struggle for people with ADHD and dyspraxia.

For me, my ability to concentrate or not will show up in specific situations. Sometimes I’m able to have conversations with people for hours on end, and sometimes after five minutes I’ll just start staring at the ceiling fan. I can curl up on the couch by the fire and read a book for hours, however I find it hard to sit still and watch a movie for hours. I end up getting jumpy and distracted and need to move around. I can sit and watch a baseball game for hours, soccer however I lose concentration after the first five minutes.

2. You’re Constantly Losing Everything

I feel like a good portion of my day consists of me walking around going, “Where did I leave my car keys?” or, “Where on earth did my shoes go?’.

I struggle with making a place for everything and then remembering where those places are.

The struggle is real, y’all.

3. You’re Really, Really Clumsy


I’ve gotten so used to looking at my legs or arms and seeing random bruises. I used to get really worried and go, “How did that get there?!”. Now, I look like, “Cool! Another bruise.”

4. Your Balance Isn’t Great


No matter how many yoga classes I’ve gone to and how much time I spend at the gym practicing balance exercises, making sure I don’t fall over is a daily struggle for me.
I can be known to trip, or randomly fall even if there’s nothing there.

5. You’re Really Bad At Self Care Tasks

While many people with dyspraxia may have mastered tasks like tying shoelaces, dealing with the struggles of fine motor skills can be a struggle. Tasks like trying to do your hair, putting on make up, etc.

Processed with VSCO with m3 preset
Processed with VSCO with m3 preset

My best friend from high school, who is basically my sister, has done a great job throughout the years of helping me learn to coordinate my movements, and to teach me tricks and ways of styling my hair, doing my make-up and even helping me with fashion advice.
Practice makes perfect.
Eventually. Or at least that’s what I say to myself.

6. Can I Have A Medal For Doing Two Things At Once?

During meals, I’m often really silent because I have to focus on eating.
And if I’m not eating, I’m focused on making conversation and then everyone else finishes and I’m left to eat really fast.
So, usually I’m left eating slowly.
Slow and steady wins the race, right?


People with dyspraxia find it nearly impossible to hold two objects in separate hands at once or even do two tasks at the same time. It’s not only the physical multitasking that’s difficult.

For instance: There is no way for me to listen to music and read or study at the same time. I’ve tried, trust me.
I end up getting distracted and having to re-read the same lines about 15 times before I give up making them go hand in hand.

7. You Walk Awkwardly

My mom has always told me that I tend to walk slightly off kilter and off balanced. The way she describes it brings to mind me walking like a duck. With my feet out to the sides and everything.
For me, I think I walk just fine.
I’m sure as I’m gotten older that my walking has improved.

At least, I think it has…..

I can’t even begin to list the amount of times that I’ve been told that I’m walking – hunched over, I’m leaning too far to my right, now I’m leaning too far to my left.

I have a hard time walking next to friends. I tend to end up walking into them – sort of like bumper cars but without the cars or even elbowing them.
I finally had to tell my friends not be be offended if I want a two person distance between them and me during walks.

8. Learning New Skills Is A #Struggle

 I currently work at a coffee roastery as a chef. Each day is an interesting challenge for me. A few weeks ago, I was struggling with learning how to whisks eggs(correctly). My whole life I’ve struggled with the movement of the wrist when learning to whisk. Whether I’m whisking eggs, or whisking batter. It usually looks like I’m beating the batter or eggs. 

Learning new skills is a struggle when you have dyspraxia.
It requires a lot of focus and concentration.

For instance, I spent years learning how to correctly play the djembe – african drum. For years, my rhythm was off, it took me ages to eventually learn how to play it so that I was getting a rhythm I wanted.


9. Your Eye-Hand Coordination Sucks, Let’s Admit It


In middle school and high school I used to dread P.E. class because my eye-hand coordination was basically non-existant. People would throw frisbees at me, and I’d be ten feet away from it and be like, “I got it!”. That or I’d throw a baseball or basketball to a team member, and it would be like I was making them run a mile just to get the ball.
Hey, at least they got a workout from it. 

I often give people a fun little eye-hand coordination test: Throw a ball(preferably something small and soft) at a wall and see if you can catch it. If you’re anything like me chances are your response will either be, “Oh, shit! I just broke my nose” or, “Oh, shit! I just broke that lamp!”.

10. You Find Speaking/Eating Difficult


People with dyspraxia are extremely aware of all of the different mechanisms involved with eating food, “Bite! Chew! Swallow! Repeat!”  All while making sure you don’t choke on your food in the process and make a mess(which for me ends up happening anyway). It makes eating food especially tricky. When I eat, I have to concentrate extra hard. There is no possible way for me to speak during meals, unless I just forget eating altogether.

Usually my go to foods are soft foods; like soup, pizza, seafood, or even mashed potatoes. Especially if I’m eating with friends or at a social gathering and I have to focus on speaking at the same time.

11. Please, No Daily Tasks That Require Moving.

You know how at parties most people have fun?
I mean, you drink, meet up and chat with friends and eat great food and enjoy great music.
However, while everyone else is enjoying themselves and worry and stress free, you are:

  • trying not to bump into any furniture
  • trying not to bump into anyone
  • trying to make sure you don’t bump into someone and spill your drink
  • trying to make sure you don’t drop your glass as you maneuver through the crowds
  • trying to make sure you don’t spill anything on the carpet
  • trying to make sure you don’t spill your food everywhere

12. Are You Left or Right- Handed? You’re Not Sure….

13.. You Don’t Sit Normally

My friends and family often tell me about how oddly I sit in chairs.
I’ve never been able to sit normally in chairs.
It just feels odd and weird to me to sit with my feet on the ground.
Instead I either sit half cross-legged, or totally cross-legged.
It just feels so much more comfortable to me.
As a kid one of my favorite ways to sit on the floor was half pretzel.

14. Organization Is Not Your Strength

I spent much of my school years in classrooms that helping me learn better organizational skills. Sometimes, I’d spend the whole class period setting up binders, and having everything organized and in the correct place. By the end of the day the binder would look like an army had raided it for top secret information.

I was constantly late to class, I was always losing homework, forgetting due dates, etc.

Needless to say, organization is not my forte. Technology is.
As an adult and grown woman I understand that I need to be organized.
Half the apps on my phone are devoted to organization, reminders, lists, etc.
I set myself reminders on what I need from the grocery store, exactly what’s on my schedule, where I need to be and at what time.

If I didn’t, I’d be getting lost constantly and probably spending half the day in bed.

15. Driving Is Like Learning To Read When You’re Blind. It’s Just So Complicated

I struggle with driving.
I struggle with spacial awareness enough as it is.
Sometimes I think cars are further away than the actually are or that they’re WAY WAY TOO close to my bumper. Sometimes I’m a little too much left or right when I think I’m completely straight.

16. It’s Incredibly Difficult To Learn A Physical Sequence

One of the many reasons I gave up teaching yoga was that I could never fully master the art of teaching the yoga poses in the correct sequences.


I would either teach classes really fast and hard so that people were completely drenched in sweat by the first 15 minutes, or I would teach the sequences so slowly that I’m sure some people just sat in the back reading.

If I do manage to remember sequences, I have to do them so much that they’re eventually engrained into my mind and it’s become my whole life.

 17. You Struggle With Insomnia

18. Does Your Spatial Awareness Even Exist?


My lack of spacial awareness helps to explain to people why I’m often stepping on their toes, or bumping into them or inanimate objects.

See, most people understand that when you’re close to coming into contact with people, you need to move away and shift your body. It’s not that people with dyspraxia don’t understand, it’s just that we struggle with spacial awareness big time.

If you have dyspraxia, you may find yourself crashing into people on the street. For instance:

  • You misjudge how far away another person is from you, so you narrowly miss walking into them or walk into them
  • When you eat, you misjudge the distance from the plate to the edge of the table, or the distance from the plate to your mouth. I know whenever I’m done eating, I’m either coated in food particles, or the table is a work of art.

So, What’s Your Point?

Simply put, there is no cure for dyspraxia. It is a life long disorder. Pretty much the cure is to try to be as organized as possible. Many people with dyspraxia often go to speech therapy and occupational therapy which I went through as a child. Or they’re put in classes to help them learn organizational skills.

As an adult, I organize my days with a daily planner. I write every little detail on it, where I have to be at what time, when my rent is due, etc. Doing so helps me to set realistic goals and not get lost and forget where I need to go or what I need to get done.

Dyspraxia is really under-diagnosed by physicians, teachers, and parents. Especially in the United States. It’s also really hard to diagnose because it is basically a cluster fuck(excuse my language) of dealing with different difficulties and often when being diagnosed, physicians label it as something else.

My goal through this blog post is to spread awareness of dyspraxia and help others in similar situations as mine. Many people who actually have dyspraxia are often misdiagnosed with other disabilities.

Do you have dyspraxia? I would love to hear your story!

A Response To The Annapolis Shooting


Annapolis is my hometown.
I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve hung out downtown with friends eating hot dogs from Pip’s Dock Street Dogs and licking an ice cream from Storm Bros. Ice Cream Factory as it’s melting faster than I can lick. Or the amount of times I’ve watched the Fourth of July fireworks from one of the parking garages. The amount of times I’ve gone downtown in the middle of the night playing guitar or even playing my drums. Not to mention the church I attend is in the heart of Annapolis.


In light of Thursday’s shooting at the Capital Gazette, I wanted to give my response.

Workplace shootings happen, and unfortunately in this day and age shootings have become all the more common. More and more people wonder if this type of thing will ever happen in their school, their workplace, or even their hometown.

Most of us actually go about our daily lives hoping that we never have to live in fear of this type of thing happening.

Honestly though, at any given time this could happen.
This could happen anywhere.
This could be your hometown.
This could be your workplace.
These people could be your co-workers, your friends, your family, etc.



This could be your hometown that is getting politicized and used as an example of Trump’s “hateful” rhetoric on the media.

It can happen to anyone, anywhere at any given time. This shouldn’t allow us to live in fear or even stop being lights in a dark world.

Yes, unfortunately shootings happen and politics aside, we need to take a look at our gun laws and our mental health care system – and maybe I’ll write another post about the guns laws and mental health care system soon.

We shouldn’t allow these shootings to break us, to make us spend our whole lives living in fear.

Life is way too short so spend your life worrying about the what if’s. I’ve learned to trust God with my what if’s and but’s, and give Him full control.

Today I want to challenge you guys to be a light, to spread kindness.

Maybe reach out to an old friend, talk with someone who you may disagree with politically, or even call your mom or grandmother just to talk to them. Help a neighbor mow their lawn, pay for someone’s order at the drive through, etc.

There are endless ways that we can spread kindness.
It will cost you $0.00 to be kind to someone.

In times of tragedy is when we need to come together more than ever as a nation, rather than to allow hateful rhetoric and politics divide us.







Who are you?

Who are you?

How would you answer this question?

For many years whenever someone asked me this, I would begin by listing my hobbies or things I liked.

“I’m Libby. I like coffee and hiking.”


“I’m Libby. I love crystals, and watching anime.”


“I’m Libby. I love exploring abandoned buildings and reading.”

It wasn’t until a friend told me, “That’s great! Though, all you told me was what you liked.”

Now, in the moment I probably looked at this friend like, “Man, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed”, and I probably also rolled my eyes in annoyance.

Looking back, this friend is right.

How, many times as Christians do we tell people, “Your sin and past mistakes don’t define you”, while simultaneously defining ourselves by our hobbies or clothes.

You see, we are still allowing ourselves to be defined by something. Whether that’s grades, fashion, our job, or a relationship.

As people we are constantly learning and growing, and thus our hobbies, fashion taste, and worldview are constantly changing.

While these things do have the power to describe us and provide people with the insight as to who we are, they don’t define us.

Who are you when nobody is around? Who are you underneath your hobbies and labels?

If you don’t know you who are or what you value in life, or even where your worth comes from, you will constantly be searching for your identity in hobbies, interests and even people and allowing those things to define you.

Know who you are underneath the labels.

Who are you?

We’re all “Works in Progress”

“I can’t wait until I lose this weight, I’ll be beautiful.”

“I’ll stop working as much, and spend more time with my family once I get this promotion”

“I need to study until I get accepted into Harvard, then I’ll hang out with my friends”

“I can’t stop! I need this to be absolutely perfect!”

We’ve all said something similar. We promise to love ourselves more once we aren’t a “work in progress”.

I used to. I told myself once I lost such and such weight, I would be beautiful. Guys were constantly shaming me and abusing me and making me feel less than perfect because I wasn’t their definition of “beautiful”. I’ve learned to love myself through the works in progress in my life.

Sometimes it’s hard for us to love the version of ourselves that’s still a work-in progress.

It’s easier for us to see the negative in ourselves and we have a habit of beating ourselves up. I’ve been there.

Without realizing, we are all actually works in progress. There’s always something to learn from and improve on. We aren’t perfect.


Love yourself where you are, friend.
There’s always something that we can improve on and always something to learn from.  If you’re waiting until you aren’t a “work in progress”, you’ll be waiting a lifetime to love yourself.



– Elizabeth Louise