“Bullies do what they do for self protection. This is often because manipulation (ie. humiliation, intimidation, and isolation) are the only way they know how to cope with their lack of self worth. Having power over someone has in some way served them temporarily in the past. However, having power over another, taking someone’s power or giving power away is always temporary because it is an illusion. This is why bullies continue doing what they do over and over again. It’s a dysfunctional addiction that society is now recognizing and insisting that it is no longer acceptable.” (Susan Abrams Miligan, author)
Recently I dealt with a situation where bullying was happening and I was faced with the question, “Do I really want to condone this behavior or should I call it out?”. Sometimes we are faced with uncomfortable situations where we see bullying happening, or maybe we just aren’t sure if it classifies as bullying so we end up going along with it. I have asked my dear friend, Julianna Bouffard to help me write this as this is an issue we feel strongly about.
How can bullying be identified?
When someone does something unintentionally hurtful once that is rude.
When someone does something intentionally hurtful once, that is mean.
When someone continues to repeat hurtful actions when they are aware it makes you upset–that is bullying.
Some of you may have seen the viral video of a woman who attended Dairy Queen for free ice cream day recently, and a car full of men saw her and commented on her weight calling her a “fat bitch” When I saw this video, my soul mourned for the loss of those souls who are tarnished by social isolation of their complete disregard for values and compassion. As a society, how can we prevent this? We can continue to meditate upon Leviticus where it is said to love one another as you would love yourself. However, what about the people who bully and shame–do they love themselves? I doubt it and that absolutely breaks my heart as I am sure it breaks the Lord’s.
To be a bully is not okay. To some people, they seem to get a sense of fulfillment to compensate for their lack of self love. Myself as others have experienced the repercussions of being outcasted by bullies online. In my particular situation, it has been multiple people uneducated about mental health in depression, name calling, by calling me crazy for having depression.
Instead of reacting, I choose to ignore it and pray for them, for their struggles they choose not to face and have compassion for others.
I believe that nothing they can say or do will affect me or my future and I choose to be strong in my faith with God whose opinion is the only one which matters.